FOMO, or Fear Of Missing Out, is a common anxiety of the modern world where we have too many options and apparently too little time.
FOMO is a pattern of thought that others might be having better experiences from which you are absent. It is often characterized by the desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing. However, it can also manifest in other ways, e.g. while choosing investment options, or career changes like quitting one’s boring job and joining a startup.
This article will delve briefly into the psychology and impacts of FOMO. We look at the everyday experience of FOMO from a layperson’s perspective. Finally, we offer 5 simple tips and advice on controlling or getting over FOMO.
Table of Contents
What causes FOMO?
Psychologically, FOMO is linked to two human needs:
- to belong in a group: this is a fundamental aspect of our social nature. We are wired to want to be part of the group, and when we feel like we’re not, it can lead to feelings of anxiety and dissatisfaction.
- to avoid regret: we are also wired to avoid activities or decisions that may cause regret or pain down the road.
However, in the digital world, FOMO has become more common due to the mechanisms of attention grabbing and keeping viewers glued to the screen. Proposals of redesigning social media to counter FOMO-inducing algorithms have been floated but hasn’t made much progress yet. Marketers and advertisers openly brag about their use of FOMO in nudging people towards certain choices like buying things or signing up for services that they may not need.
Thus, the onus falls on us to find ways to counter the experience of FOMO.
The many faces of FOMO
FOMO can manifest in basically any area of life where one has to pick one option from many, and the potential payoffs or losses are relatively large. Let’s see some examples.
Retail investors often put their money in certain stocks before doing research on the company because of FOMO. While this has been somewhat true for a long time, it became particularly true in the Internet age when hype and rumour can propagate faster than the market can react. On the other side, startup investors also frequently in new and upcoming companies based on fears that their competitors may get the stakes in the next unicorn startup.
Social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram also cause FOMO in users of all ages, which included issues like “… paranoia, dissatisfaction, loneliness, negative self-image, and jealousy”. Being excluded from the cutting-edge of social interaction (such as smartphones) have also been reported to cause people to take their own lives, especially in teenage and young adult populations.
Sexual FOMO is similar to other types of FOMO. However, unlike Instagram posts or whatsapp status updates, this kind of FOMO does not lend itself to easy investigation, hence making the imagination, uhh, overreact more than usual.
Does everyone get FOMO?
Short answer: yes.
Long answer: not really, unless you expand the notion of FOMO quite a bit. Anyone who is living in the 21st century, has a smartphone or a computer, and is capable of signing up on social media, is susceptible to FOMO. In addition, some jobs like content creators, investors etc. require more attention to the news and updates than other professions like teaching high-school mathematics. This exposure to what everyone else is doing also makes the ideal fertile ground of FOMO.
Generally, FOMO depends more on a person’s psychological makeup, their daily habits, long-term goals and so forth.
Can FOMO be good?
Long answer: still no.
The thing about FOMO is, it’s bad by definition. We associate it with negative outcomes for a reason: it actually leads to an overall negative perception of yourself and your actions, so regardless of how good you have it by objective metrics, you will still be miserable if you have FOMO. Which is why there is a plethora of articles and research papers exploring various ways to get over FOMO (this one being one of them, heh).
How to get over FOMO?
Tip 1: Pick a practice, stick to it
Digital detox. Mindfulness practices. Yoga exercises. Journaling. Relaxing Music.
Any and all of these options can help reprogram your brain towards more stable, non-distracted and goal-oriented modes. The trick is to pick what really works for you, and then follow through; you really don’t want to keep trying one thing after another for the next 10 years, right?!
Since there are so many options, make sure you don’t get FOMO about FOMO-prevention mechanisms!
Tip 2: Fast regularly
Fasting is one of those free gifts of nature that has multiple benefits.
It clears toxins, helps kick stem cells into action for recovery and repair, helps immune system and a ton of other beneficial effects. While a duration of 20-ish hours are necessary for most of these effects to take place, some of them can be activated with as low as 12 hour fasts. The schedule of fasting also matters a lot, but that is something you should really decide on your own since it requires more customization.
While it has not been linked to FOMO specifically as far as we know, the secondary benefits are definitely going to have some impact on the FOMO processes in your brain if you do it regularly enough.
Make sure to drink adequate water while fasting.
Tip 3: Take long walks
This is best close to nature, like a park. If you do not have such a space available, walking around in a large building can also help.
The pace of walking matters. Depending on your overall activity levels, food and metabolism, you may want to walk at a brisk pace for a few minutes, and then settle down to a more relaxed state for a longer period, or vice versa.
We advice against listening to music or podcasts while walking. Instead, consider talking to people or simply looking at the scene in front of you, ask yourself child-like questions that sharpen your curiosity!
Light stretching and breathing deeply before the walk can make your blood circulation improve and make the overall experience more enjoyable.
Tip 4: Use red, orange or yellow lighting at night
The harms of blue light are probably well known by now. Our brains react to frequencies close to the blue color in a certain way, that prevents or delays relaxation and upsets the natural rhythms of the body.
Orange and red light has been shown to induce calmness, reduce anxiety and even help with improving muscle tone and recovery. Try putting a few of these lights up where you spend time at night, between evening and bedtime.
Tip 5: Talk to relaxed people
Typically, those who have FOMO tend to have friends or acquaintances who are also feeling those same emotions of worry or dissatisfaction. Finding random people who are stable, grounded and confident, and also willing to talk to strangers can be challenging. Unless you are willing to take therapy sessions, however, that is your next best option.
Some people, due to personal circumstances or deliberate life choices, are much more shielded from the fast moving culture of the Internet. They may have real animals to interact with, and care for, instead of looking at memes online. They may make much less money, but their expenses are also quite low. They may be disinterested about the latest controversy or scandal, but have a treasure trove of wisdom about some arcane aspect of the world.
Finding a friend like this may be more tricky in some places, depending on where you live and work. But it is definitely a rewarding experience!
Summary
Reading more and more about FOMO is not going to help you. Unless you are implementing some actual, tangible steps in your life, this or other articles will not help you get over FOMO.
So stop reading, and take a deep breath!
Wish you a happy and relaxed life.
